Your Ratchets, Trains, and Motors

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Your Ratchets, Trains, and Motors

If you prefer the audio version to have your hands free take a listen here instead

Many of us believe in destiny. We envision our future to be a mysterious star behind the thick dark clouds.

We think that the lines in our palms have mapped our future from birth to death.

Great man and women shape the future, not only their own, but of the universe. Their future is like clay, they can bend it to form a vase, a statue, any great thing that they want.

Is your future like the lines in your palm or a clay on the table?

Crafting a great vase require discipline, consistency, timing, and a lot of hard work. It isn’t done in a day.

Like the materials for a perfect vase, behind our success are subtle forces that shape our lives daily.

To craft our future, we must be conscious of these forces: our ratchets, trains, and motors.

Ratchets

Ratchets are the small changes that unfold daily. They are the tiny details that seem insignificant, at first. Then one day, you look back to see how far the ratchet has gone.

Not that many years ago, you bought your first-ever smartphone. You started using mobiles apps.

You downloaded Spotify. You started emailing using your phone.

Today, you drove to the office and realized that you forget your phone at home. You started worrying about you calls and messages. You hate the inconvenience of going to your desk to check emails. You realized you can’t take a selfie.

Five years ago, smartphones did not exist and you were fine. Now, after using a smartphone daily for five years, this tiny gadget is almost a part of your body.

Ratches like these is all around you. Are you intentionally harnessing any of them for the work that matter to you?

Your Train

You are riding your train. This vehicle carries you to its direction.

Your train is the company you keep, the office you work at, the house you live, the family that raises you, the friends you choose, the lover you desire.

The train is a force that surround you. Inevitably, they form a large part of your identity.

There are two forces that affect our identity: nature and nurture. The train represents nurture.

Our families are our first train. Our parents are our first influences. 82% of Catholics came from Catholic families.

 

American presidents

Celebrities

In schools, people are identified by cliques.

In the “Mean Girls” movie, the high school population is divided between the fashionable, the sporty ones, the emos, and the geeks.

In “High School Musical,” we see the same thing.

In Disney “Descendants”

In real estate, their is a principle called… “Be aware of your train.”

Envision your path, your image.

the most important thing to remember about the many trains you are on. is not to be hard on yourself for getting ON the wrong train, but for remaining on when you realize it.

Your Motors

Your motors are your triggers. In psychology, this is called the “Id.”

The “Id,” lives in your subconscious, your deepest fear and desires. The affect your different actions without you knowing it. The “id” is irrational. It is the force behind love at first sight and whirlwind romance. Tony Robins say the strongest force alive is your desire to stay true to your self-belief, to be consistent with your own worldview. That’s a motor not to be underestimated.

Your motors may manifest is less grander ways such as when you open a poorly constructed article from an unreliable website because of a clickbait headline.

Marketers study these things to sell products.

Cost is not a function of price.

Be aware of your “Id.”

Urgent Table

SWOT Analysis

Think long-term.

Always have a goal, always argue out loud that you might be wrong. Use these mechanism for good, instead of falling for them unconsciously.

Understanding YOUR motor, your fuel, your energy givers is among the most important insights you get. Have you reflected on what yours are recently?

The Magic of Synergy

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The Great Wall of China, the Pyramids of Egypt, the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Mahal-what do the great structures in history have in common?

All of them are built by a team that works towards one goal. Behind all of these majestic places are an excellent architect, a top-of-class engineer, a respected king, hundreds or thousands of hardworking people, and most importantly, a reason for building.


Throughout history, people had been motivated by different things but most likely the same feelings and self world view


But what about in the modern times? What force unites the modern world?

The answer can be very difficult. Perhaps, non-existent.

In the age of individualism, where people value uniqueness above culture. This world offers so many distractions, so the purpose of existence is no longer pondered upon.

So in this day and age, how do you start a crusade? How can you bring together different personalities and shepherd them towards one direction? How do you communicate a goal and realize a vision?

The modern team thrives on diversity, maximizing individual strengths to create synergy.

“What’s in it for me?” is an indispensable question from individuals courted to contribute to a project.

The challenge for millennial visionaries is to craft a business idea that is win-win for all parties involved. It has to be profitable while allowing individual contributors to showcase their talents. It has to have a positive impact on the society.

Like a boat, a vision needs a headstrong captain to sail it through a sea of internal and external factors.

Team members and stakeholders have to be well-compensated while government and the people need to be assured that the venture will have a positive impact on the environment and society.

Despite all the obstacles, building a modern day dream team is possible by attracting the right people and instilling the right values: Trust, Co-ownership, Transparency, Goal-Orientedness, and Diversity.

Trust

Trust is a timeless virtue. It is the most important criteria for selecting allies. Never work with anyone you can’t trust.

Finally, when you hire the people you trust, show them that they have your confidence. Give them the stage. Let them fight their dragons. Set directions but limit your intervention. You hired them for their knowledge and skills so let them do their job.

When you hire intelligent people, let them do the thinking.

2. Co-ownership

The most excellent and praiseworthy employees think of the company as their own.

They don’t just work to get the salary. They want to see the organization thrive. Thus, they align their actions with the company’s strategies and they give their best in all their task. They represent the company well to clients and they go beyond the call of duty.

3. Transparency

A transparent leader leads without deception or hidden agenda. He genuinely dedicates his effort and competence to the growth of each team member and to the goal of the organization.

He is a picture of encouragement. His hard work and unbeatable energy fuels the team.

When members of the team are honest towards one another, they become more excited to work together.

4. Goal-Oriented Team

A goal-oriented team is where members collaborate instead of competing. The members trust the leader and the rest of the group so they believe that the success of the team will also alleviate them. Thus, instead of trying to get ahead of each other, they share strategies and connections and work to empower one another.

5. Diversity

A successful organization needs an exemplary planner, a driven leader, savvy technical people, dynamic marketers, organized administration, sincere customer care staff, talented artists and so on.

The right mix of people who believe in the same vision makes an indestructible team.

 

This might not work, but I'm trying to help Pro-Gamer Parents make a difference

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Trying new things is important for growth.
Things change, worldviews change. We need to embrace that if we don’t work on extending our comfort zone it shrinks automatically.

During the summer break I started a Youtube channel thinking to myself “this might not work” – but it if does I’m helping people I want to help with things that matter the most to them. The success of their children AND their own connection to their children.

The purpose of this channel is helping parents help their kids create a healthy, successful happy life based on their passion for computer game play.
Other purposes include
* Helping parents connect better to their children, for some parents is worlds colliding

* Helping computer gamers embrace reality and level up both in-game as well as in real life.

o   Between game talk I’m also sneaking in the importance of a healthy body in order to have an effective game, since the brain is boosted by a healthy body. Often the problem isn’t computer games themselves, it’s that we for sample sit still too much. Sitting still is killing the modern world like few other things. Most really successful esport champions embrace the importance for physical training in order to deliver in the esport tournaments for example.

o   Likewise will I share optimistic worldviews of how important a healthy mindset is for any form of success in life, and especially for pursuing becoming best in something where there is a global completion?

o   You get the idea: while we help them become best of the best, we’re also helping them build a healthy life with a healthy mind, body, relationships and skills for other careers as well

 

What is it for? Helping parents help their child make a successful, happy living based on their dream: Computer Game play

Who is it for? Parents who believe in the positive effect of “State of Play”, Parents who wants their children to learn to lead in solving interesting problems for those that matter to them. With “interesting” being their own choosing. Parents who embrace that they are responsible for their childrens start, not other parties like school, governments, etc.. Nor are they curling them either but they realize that the potential in other people can only be volunteered, but they’ll happily do some heavily lifting themselves if it helps their child. Notice that most of the work we’ll do on this channel is about connecting and emotional labor to make a difference. There won’t be any quick fixed in this channel. But I promise you that your connection to your child will become better. And hopefully you’ll both level up in the real life in the process

Interested? Check it our here: Pro-GamerParent.com, and more importantly. Spend time with your child, doing things that matter to her/him.

You Are a Contribution

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You Are a Contribution

You are a contribution, a color in a rainbow. You have the energy, talent, and intellect to pursue your hopes and aspirations. The world is a big ocean of opportunities. Have the courage to pursue whatever dreams you have.

Get to know yourself. What do you love doing? Where do you excel? What do people like in your? Take some online personality tests. Try out different things and listen to your heart.

Dream for yourself, your family, your friends, loved ones, and the society. Think outside the box and make a difference.

Find opportunities that fit your strengths while leading you to your goal. Join organizations where you can be a contribution. Surround yourself with people that inspire you. Before joining a company, check its corporate values. Befriend hardworking and ambitious co-workers. Have long-term and short-term goals and always check your progress.

Work with steady determination. Your dreams be your ray of sunshine during your darkest days. In your corporate and academic journey, you will meet a power-tripping boss, a crazy professor, a politicking colleague, a critical parent, a two-face friend, and a lot of other obstacles. If you know yourself and you know your goals, you can find the strength to get going.

There are times that you have to prove your talent or intellect in a competition, a job interview, an opportunity for promotion, and many other instances. In that case, compete with all your might. Bring out all your strengths. But remember to be yourself. If you win, take victory with humility and continue to work hard. Never let one trophy be a reason to rest on your laurels. If you didn’t make it, rest for a day. Then pick yourself up and continue your journey. Do your duty in big and small roles.

But in most times, you will find yourself in a group of people working towards one goal: in a class, family, circle of friends, or in a company. Find a gap that you can fill. Find a way to enhance the groups output with your talents. Be prepared to lead but also be ready to give your support and make suggestions. Shine but also let others take their spotlight. Work with steady determination. Support others and lean to others for support.

Learn to say no. When you have proven yourself enough. You will reach the point where several opportunities will knock on your door. Always go back to your goals. Make your choice and take accountability for it. There is no going back. Once you have chosen, fiercely pursue that path. Disregard your what ifs.

Sometimes you will need to prioritize. You may decide to take care of a terminally ill parent for a year before going back to your corporate life. It’s okay. Always remember what matters most.

In other times you just need to balance work and studies, love and career, and friends and family. Learn to compartmentalize. Be 100% present wherever you are. Leave work at the office. Don’t take your family problems at work. Make it up to your lover by planning romantic things for the weekend.

At the end of the day, check for one thing: be sure that you are doing what makes you happy. Don’t mistake happiness for pleasure. Happiness is having a peace and contentment at the end of the day after giving your best and taking care of the people and things your care for.  Never think that success is purely financial. Success is making your dreams happens. These dreams can be about your friends, family, faith, or the society.

You can never be too young or too old to continue to dream or make new dreams. Forge your own path. Don’t compare yourself to your former classmates or colleagues. Compete with yourself. Make things happen in your own time.

The Art of Listening

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The Art of Listening

Language is perhaps the most beautiful aspect of being a human. The ability to convey feelings and ideas, the chance to appreciate what is in somebody’s mind, the gift of inheriting knowledge from the previous generation is all made possible by language. And language is best appreciated by those who have the ability to listen.

Listening is a rare talent born out of selflessness, curiosity, and the desire to be one with another person or with a community.

Listen with a genuine desire to understand. Listen clearly with compassion and curiosity. Listen without biases and judgment. Listen and accept the person in front of you without putting her words in your context, framing, and moral standard. Listen to one’s words, gestures, and feelings. Listen even when you are talking. And most importantly, listen without distraction.

Only then can a true connection be made, a connection that leads to understanding, peace, progress, mutual respect, good relationship, and success. Listening can bring forward many gifts. It is a much-needed talent by today’s disconnected digital world that lives in distractions, mobile apps, and clickbait.

The most beautiful connection is the one between lovers. They can hear each other’s whispers and read each other’s lips. Their hands and bodies are in sync. They can turn away from the world’s most tempting distractions and be lost in each other’s eyes.

Our feelings are not always the same and in our imperfect days, making a connection can be difficult. Nonetheless, it is always worth it.

Pay attention. Be alert. Look at the person in the eye. Pay attention to the person’s actions. Most importantly, become a lover, a friend, a helpful colleague, and generous boss. Listening and connection will come naturally.

When you rise to become a leader, your need to listen grows. You need to listen to a community. To your tribe but also in some extent to your nonbelievers, even if you’re not making the work that matters for them, they might help you make your work better. Just remind yourself to listen 100 times more to the people you seek to lead, your tribe.

Surveys are a great way to know the leanings of the many. A focus group discussion may be done to understand the reasons behind the numbers. Beware trusting the numbers too much though, because bias is in every answer you get. But not trusting the many will also hide important worldviews from your eyes.

Being transparent towards your partners and subordinates increases trust within the organization and creates a culture of community and working towards a common goal.

There are no soft skills. Listening is among the most important hard skills you have for ensuring results and retention. Are you listening to that which matter or are you just busy?

infinite and finite games

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Have you thought much about what type of games are you playing most regularly?

Here's' some inspiration for you
 

Are you ready?

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Are you ready?

.. for opportunity when it comes knocking on YOUR door?

I surely wasn’t, for most of the times when it’s been past my door.

LINK For example when I was interviewed by John on his EOfire podcast. Having then more than a million downloads that scared me into doing nothing more than showing up, with trembling knees.

Likewise when I was awarded Consultant of 2013 Q4, out of their 7500 consultants to choose from all I could think of was the people I knew that was just as great as I am.
Resulting that I did little thinking what was beyond this event. How I could help others beyond what I was giving here and now.
(check the interview at the bottom of this page if you prefer audio)

The thing is. Alternative cost is in every choice you make, everything you do or don’t do.

I was honored to be re-invited to John’s podcast a second time, and then I did prepare so It became very obvious how much a difference it made comparing the aftereffects of these too.

In short: it became obvious what a mistake I made when I didn’t come suitable prepared to the first interview, when that was the only difference between these two times.

Over and over in my life Ive done this mistake, and Im still doing it every now and again.

But since I really learned to come prepared for the choose
If it’s worth accepting a meeting, or a goal. It’s worth preparing for. Remind yourself of the alternative cost of NOT preparing. Guard your time investment. Ensure you get the most of out them by preparing.

Behave like your manager, client or customer pay you double for your result

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What if you behaved like your manager, client or customer payed you double for your results?

Your ability to ask yourself the important questions determines more than you think.

Treat your clients, customers, managers like they pay you a lot more than you do.
How would you behave differently if that was the case? What’s stopping you from doing that right now?
What should you have to learn in if that was the case? What more results would you want to give them if that was the case?
What would you say no to so you can focus on this customers value, the results that matter for them?
What would you “step up” extra for getting done?
IF you don’t feel like behaving like that. Then ask yourself why and use that insight to find people you DO want to treat like that.

If you’re giving expecting nothing in return, no-one can take advantage of you. You choose who you want to serve. Choose people and causes you want to give yourself whole-hearted to.
If you don’t feel you want to. That’s your responsibility to find better causes and people to serve.
Accept that you have to treat everyone as volunteer.

This got you curious, take a listen to the podcast

Borrowing Happiness from tomorrow.

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Borrowing Happiness from tomorrow.
Making the best of today to enjoy both now and tomorrow

if you prefer to listen instead of read, check this podcast eposide here


Uncomfortable now rather than resentful later – by Brene brown

Don’t shrink, don’t Puff. Brave and vulnerable at the same time. Healthy Boundaries

When was the last time you choose to set a boundary by choosing to be uncomfortable now for a better future? How well do you like your yesterday’s you? What do you think you’re pushing or procrastinating that you deep down know your future you will have to solve. Will WAY less time or resources that you have in your hands right now?

 

Borrowing Happiness from tomorrow is something I heard from Matt Mullenweg
Use the quote in any way that make you favor action to make things better today. For both today AND your future self.

Life is ticking by fast. And you don’t know what your future hold, but you know for sure, a few small things that you’re pushing ahead more than you really want to.

1990 is just as far away from today, that 2046
With that in mind. What do you think your future self will thank you for in 2046
A lot of things has changed? Back then you for example almost never asked anyone “where are you” live or on voice, because you knew, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to ask them.
 

Time with your most important people.. and what story the data tells

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Time with your most important people.. and what story the data tells
Blissful time with your most important people? Check your stats and think again..

 

Christmas is coming up. Remind yourself to be there slightly more than usual for those you care about. Be mindful, present and let a few of those noises rest until after Christmas.

I recently revisited this article
https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html

It reminded me that, according to their statistics which I believe:

After we graduate we’ve used up 93% of our in-person time with our parents. Our time with siblings are very close to that numbers as well.

Likewise with dear friends moving out of town, or perhaps you moved somewhere. You might think it’s obvious but the important question is. Are you doing something about it?

What small decision can you make today to increase this most precious time you’ve got? Now that you realize you are on the last 5% with some of the people that are the closest to you?

Put the device down is just a habit. Perhaps there is something other than you think you’ll invest in later. Perhaps a trip together. Anything small, an hour without thinking of later is valuable enough. Don’t delay. You don’t know if you’ll get there all of you.
The worst that can happen is you’ll get multiple trips together and that’s quite a good thing, crunching the numbers of your life isn’t it?

Be present for those you care about. IF they’re not worth delaying a facebook update from a stranger. Perhaps you should reconsider who you’re spending the time with and make more time for those that are worth it?

 

Counting backwards has its merits.
Taking an exam while holding a list of answers in hand is easy.

Yet when it comes to time, who has been my most persistent, consistent and generous teacher it’s easy to forget. What most of us treasure is time spent in with the (few) people that really matter around us. I keep forgetting and getting lost with all the shines, squirrels and wonderful magic out there. Thinking I can do this tomorrow, but eventually no one of us can. Be grateful for what you’ve got, and work to get and give more of it.

It doesn’t matter who your choice of those people are. This is your choise alone. it’s easy to forget how saying yes to all the noise and people wanting in on our attentions. Forgetting that not taking a conscious decision crowd out time for the people that matter.

Christmas can also be hard. If so be kind to yourself and those around you. This advice of course, goes beyond just Christmas. But chance are you’re seeing some long-time friends or relatives of yours. Dare to put tension to say no to the people you’re just hanging out with out of habits this year. Dare to be really present with those you choose. Time is ticking. Remember to enjoy most of those ticks. And help those around you get your bliss too.

Act now and you will most likely tenfold the time you get with the people that matter to you. Compared to if you let inertia and others make that choice for you.

What’s YOUR style of play? This is not a quickfix

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When I was a young leader of my first team I was desperately longing for a quick checklist to follow.

Something that could guarantee if I followed its guidance I’d be great manager to those I served.

I was around 20 years old and very afraid to fail. I was very afraid to show how vulnerable I felt. In my responsibility for other results, productivity and their long term wellbeing.

Somehow I thought that made me an insecure leader that would yield less results.

Today I say the opposite, embracing vulnerability makes us strong. Embracing failures makes us accomplish more.

Today I know that holding up my shield like I did back then, not showing my true “scared parts” self made me less easy to connect to.  Made me more “blank”

My aim with this podcast is to be a gift for your long term benefit. For the life and work for yourself and those around you. Not a provider of templates or checklists for the generic solutions.

I want to help you explore more of YOUR unique ways of connecting to people.

To help you find own unique potential. Your individual ways to help those around you accomplish the same.

We’re all surrounded by ads and noise for packages to buy. Or articles to invest your time in reading telling you what to do so you can feel safe.

Playing at your fear of loss, playing of your itch for safety, for guarantees, for “top 3 things for better X”

 

I don’t want to go that way contrary to advices from lots of people. They keep telling me that’s the smart way to increase my downloads or monetize this podcast but that’s not WHY I do this.

This podcast is primarily a gift I want to give. Like Dalai Lama and Mahatma Gandhi say, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. This is podcast episode number 191 and not one podcast so far has been created with the purpose of making money.
My purpose is helping others.

 

If I can help just one person day feeling more like they belong where they are. Or daring to make a healthy leap that change things for the better that’s all the reward I need. This is my style of helping, even if it was awkward and scary when I started.

What style of play in your life? What’s important boundaries for you? What’s worth doing for you, even if you think you might fail?

 

First, you must know yourself. What type of service do you want to offer? How do you want to serve others?


Next will be about creating your own guidelines that works with you. It does not matter what everybody else is doing. It does not matter whether it is not indicated in the book of the famous author or speaker. What matters is those are helping you to become better.

 

Another thing that you should not worry about is the fear of loss. We can see there are so many countdown and deadlines that drives you to click on this and purchase on that. But flash sales and these marketing strategies makes us think differently. It creates an unwanted pressure and confusion on our part. Although, I would agree that this is effective. But still, it does not help you unleash your full potential. Find ways to less noise and more of your own actions.

At the end of the day, it does not matter who you follow and what book you read.
What matters is that you’re taking more responsibility in creating your own breakthrough. You will find your individual way.

You can definitely do it. What step can you take today to embrace your reality a bit more? What’s your style of play and how can you dare allow more of THAT to be seen by those you serve?

its rarely about you, rarely about perfect and always about shipping

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It’s almost never about you. Almost always it's about those you serve AND you. Major, longlasting success is 99% about helping other people get closer towards what they want. That said of course it’s important to set healthy boundaries for what you want and don’t want.

For example, let image that this image represent what you're working on right now. Picture "your thing" when you're reading the rest of this email.

 

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Think about when it’s OK to ship things at 80% and when it’s not OK for you. We often ship later than what’s beneficial for all parties, think about, focus on shipping early not late.. Perfecting and inaction might from afar look very alike..

Because in reality.. No-one aligns 100% percent to your needs, or your service.. Thus the “real” target should look more like this,…. Quite messy right?

How often do you ask yourself what it’s for, this this you’re creating? Who is it for?
How do I make it clearer for those I serve and myself?

 

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How often do you ask yourself what it’s for, this this you’re creating? Who is it for?
How do I make it clearer for those I serve and myself?

Let’s redraw the last image (merge of goals) like below, for clarity.

So if the dot is “your” target/goal/end results. And the stars is the others goal-target.. same as above, but simpler.

 

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Are you asking yourself it the "What is it for" really overlaps with the blue stars, and that these blue stars overlap with what is healthy for you to ship? (Infinite and finite games comes to mind)

 

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So ask yourself if you should invite the mindset that this yellow area should be “enough”?

Would such a goal still help those you serve?

Don’t work for "perfect hits". Work for creating or sharing value to others. You don’t know how much value you bring until you ship and listen for the feedback. Work for shipping because you never know who you’re service way more than you think you would in your current state of play. Work to ship early so you learn to become more aware of the others target/stars are.

How often to you think about this overlap, and the way it can propel you and those around you forward?

Have this made you rethink the design or your current goal?

 

Do you have the leadership and clarity at business, operations and infrastructure to levelup the effects of OmniChannel, IoT, Big Data

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Digital Transformation. Digital is the new revenue driving force.

Information is the new gold.

Do you have the leadership and clarity at business, operations and infrastructure to levelup its effects?

 

Big Data and Internet of things. How does this apply to my teams everyday behaviour. Helping us act on key metrics and everyday insights?

 

How to become ready for this shift?

 

First we need to accowledge the hard work operations and infrastructure is doing. We need to embrace reality of what is legacy and needs to be kept of all that is. Embrace reality first and create the future. If we ONLY live in the future, we're not building it. I firmly believe in the quote by Peter Drucker "the best way to predict the future is to create it" - and I work alot with data driven predictions. Still that alone, without behaviour change of our team today the change that matters most will not happen.

 

Digital Transformation, Operational BI and the importance of

infrastructure and well oiled listening processes

 

Now is the time to thank the heroes at infrastructure for their hard work, because it’s about to pay off when all organisations starts to realize “information is their most valuable asset” alongside with the digital transformation required to support omnichannel, fast-speed, trustworthy analytics across. Catalogs. print. RFID trace data, auto-inventory, Order-online-pickup-in-a-minute in your closest location,auto-ad placements on RFID tags. Location based customer movements. Online behaviour. Marketing insights. Events activities and insights. Surveys. Focusgroups data – and a lot more now connecting the dots creating easier ways fastpasted ways to revenue connected to a mix of processes.

 

This requires we trust infrastructure, and that we proactively work with getting the best of their work. Problem solving is the best way to learn, and InO work great with problem solving. The rest of the organisation needs to become better at listening to their insights. And Infrastructure needs to be better at creating ambassadors setting $values on process, activities and data to support change. Drop Sunc cost in a transparent way OR get ready to defend legacy that the new and latest requirement specifiers turn a blind eye to because it’s not easy digestible.

 

This does not have to mean a lot of extra time, working better will ensure we do this while also doing the hard work we do each day. But it’s a learning process. When I started this podcast you’re listening to it took me most of a weekend to get an episode live. Now Podcast only takes about a few minutes per episode to get live. I might invest 15-30 minutes in total every week to produce this. Its that easy ONCE we turn elite, but I was lousy at it in the beginning. Same here, we need to learn better to actively listen for the value of our processes and how to make the effect that is important, not just out of historical reasons. Meanwhile we must also be aware of the power of legacy and you cant just pull a plug because no-one dares to invest into opening it up.

 

How can you delegate more effectively so you’ll make time to firmly grasp the most important work? How can you delegate bigger tasks to challenge and grow your people so they’ll stay longer WHILE also train them to delegate in the same manner? Are you following up on Retention KPI? Are you sure you’re not bleeding top performers?

 

Digital Transformation is hotter than ever and has been hot for years, GDPR is the new hot – both of these make infrastructure our unsung heroes – It’s time to become more aware! It’s time to stop managing and start leading in this new era of internet of things and data sensors everywhere.

 

Gartner Podcast I&O, Stop Managing & Start Leading

 

2017-09-23

 

https://www.gartner.com/podcasts/io-stop-managing-start-leading I&O Sets Foundation for Digital Transformation

 

2017-03-02

 

https://www.gartner.com/podcasts/io-sets-foundation-for-digital-transformation

 

books

 

Infonomics: How to Monetize, Manage, and Measure Information as an Asset for Competitive Advantage

 

https://www.amazon.com/Infonomics-Monetize-Information-Competitive-Advantage-ebook/dp/B075D91J9D

 

Analytics: The Agile Way (Wiley and SAS Business Series) https://www.amazon.com/Analytics-Agile-Way-Wiley-Business-ebook/dp/B073QWRP7D

 

Weapons of Math Destruction: How Big Data Increases Inequality and Threatens Democracy

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B019B6VCLO

 

Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are

 

https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-Internet-About-Really/dp/B06XCYD5KG

 

GDPR for DevOps(Sec) The law, controls and solutions https://www.amazon.com/GDPR-DevOps-Sec-controls-solutions-ebook/dp/B074Y5Y2CX

Organisational development, Psychosynthesis and leading high impact change

Psychosynthesis-egg-diagram_color.png

Organisational development, Psychosynthesis and leading high impact change

I want to share tribute to three courses that has had a great impact on the way I work and the results I bring my clients.

 

  1. Seth Godin's altMBA.
  2. Organisationskonsult
  3. Manager-Tools Effective Manager

 

Seth Godin's altMBA is a month-long intense course I took 2016 Mars. You can read more about my experience and the lingering effects of it here

 

Organisationskonsult was for me a 4-year long Organisations-konsult course. This Swedish title means "Consultant that work with making organisations more effective and healthy from other perspectives as well from the Psychosynthesis perspective"

I say its a 3 year long course because its a one-year addon to their mandatory 2 year long course. The 3rd year adds Organisational-change-driving insights. The 2nd year adds interdependency or "other people insights" and the first year is all about getting insight into your own behaviour.

However this was in 2011 and I had much yet to learn (I still do dont get me wrong) so I started with their one year long MentorAkademin course where we focused greatly on the business perspective of organisational and leadership development. This course served me well even if it actually meant I started "backwards" in their "educational" ladder.

This course was great in learning how to communicate to myself AND others to get to the important work that makes a difference.

 

Manager-Tools Effective Manager I have been listening to Manager-Tools since I was a very young leader, back in 2005 it was this podcast and security now I always followed. And acted on their advice because it really helped me and the people I lead do more with less.

This is their 3 day on-site training that I recommend to anyone working with leading people. Both people they can do one-on-ones with and lead directly, as well as leading people they need a change of behaviour, or other results from but have no levereage

 

I recommend these three courses combined for anyone who needs to level up the effect they get from themselves or together with other people.

 

My wish would be that all leaders had the combination of these three leadership courses. One focused on the business, customer and student journey. And the other two on the softer skills of leading people - which in the end, there are no soft skills. They all are very much hard requirements in getting the important job done.

Using Feedback to build Relationship Power instead of pushing people away from you.

Do you know that the most effective thing you can do to increase results is talking about performance and give feedback on results? Yet most managers fear giving feedback.

•    They don’t want to cause conflict
•    They don’t want to be misunderstood
•    Don’t feel insecure in how to give it
•    They are afraid they will appear less powerful after giving it if no change happens
•    They hide in the sand, hoping things will improve
•    They’re giving feedback in a way that pushes the individual away for them, distancing themselves, avoiding contact or making results worse. Thus they stopped giving it.

Doing this wrongly will push people away from you instead of connecting to them.

I’ve done all of these mistakes this myself, many times.
My nature is to avoid conflict. My first instinct is often to hide my head in the sand. I have to force myself out of there because in my head.

Yet at the same time, most surveys show that most people long for feedback on their work. Deep down, we always want to know where we stand. Some of us want to push for more. All of us want to know if we're at risk or not.

That said – most of the people that ask you for feedback, don’t really mean what they say. What they really want you to say is praise them. We’re not really built for receiving critical feedback. Still at the heart of it, we do want to know where we stand in relation to our safety and performance.
So how do you give good feedback that effectively creates a change in behaviour?

How do you talk about performance in a way that deepens your relationship power with an individual instead of risking to push them away from you?

What you have right now - your life and your achievements are your own responsibilities. If you’re not getting what you want, then it’s your job to change what you say, how you say it and anything else required until you get that effective behaviour, and the sweet results they bring your after.

1. The first thing you need to own is why you’re giving this specific feedback. If it’s ANYTHING other than to create a more effective tomorrow then just walk away. DON’T give feedback at this time.

2. So honestly ask yourself. Is this about bettering tomorrow or is this about here and now? If its about here and now., then it’s mostly about YOU. Ask yourself, if this behaviour doesn’t happen tomorrow, do you still feel like you have to give it? If so, stop and take responsibility for your own feelings. Your frustration will not change the behaviour of others in a healthy way.

What do you need to do when giving feedback?

  • Describe the results and our observed behaviour, from your perspective.
  • Describe the consequence for you (check cnv.org for more as to why)
  • If you’re getting some reasoning as to WHY it didn’t happen/happened- talk about making a positive future for both of you. DON’T allow yourself to remain in the past, which explanations are. Always go back talking about commitment in the future.
  • Ask them what they can do differently to get the results needed. DON’T allow yourself to decide HOW they do it, stay focused on the results and the behaviour.
  • Walk away instead of giving it if you are upset or angry.
    Don’t make feedback a lengthy debate about right or wrong.
    its all about future results. if you think its about the past you're not focusing on the effect you want, then you're most likely focusing on your own hurt or feelings, not results.

Stay positive and ask for a commitment on the behaviour or deadline. Make it about results and behaviour, not about character or persons. Try to describe the situation objectively to yourself before intervening to know. If notice you often have the tendency to prematurely intervene, you need to seriously think about your own pattern.

Asking Is More Powerful Than Telling.
Telling does NOT build relationship power but is an important part of a Manager’s job. That said, it’s my recommendation you use this as little as possible. Asking for commitment creates a lot more commitment than compliance ever does.

Frustration.
It’s totally OK to be frustrated, to be angry. Its not OK to push that energy on other people.
If you vent your frustration you will inevitably push people away. Don’t confuse the relaxed tension of gossip with creating a connection about the work that matters. No positive change ever comes about gossip. Change comes from action and keeping tension on the things you can change (the "right" thing), not releasing tension on things that wont matter.

Clear and pointy
"But Ric. I used to love that part of my boss who pointed with their whole hand in a clear way."
Yes, I understand that, it can feel relaxing in a certain way to know you can blame your manager if it goes bad, comply to the deadline and requirement. But Compliance often wastes potential. Right now, we need you to harness your potential. You can Ask AND be extremely clear at the same time.

Tension is good, tension is needed for change.
Ask how they can do things differently and wait “with” the tension. Don’t fill in the void for them. You’ve described objectively how things worked out for you based on what you saw in their behaviour.
Now, wait for them to commit to a better future with your silence. Refocusing the tension back on that positive future for both of you should they try to drag you back to the past.
Whenever they try to bring it back to how come it happened the way it happened, it’s most often to defuse tension. Show them It’s not about the past, they can’t change the past. Let them know the best way out of the tension is in that positive future behaviour.

Repetitive behaviour
One of the reasons we’re always asking for a commitment, and staying focused on the result and effective behaviour is because if your feedback doesn't cause a change, then the feedback is no longer about the specific “you’re often late to my meeting.” The feedback is now about the pattern of "you say you will commit and improve, but you’re not doing what you say you will do repetitively".

You become the company you keep
Own the pattern. If you’re the manager, your recruiting skills are responsible.
If it’s a friend, your choice of friends is responsible. If it’s a co-worker, your choice of manager is responsible. It’s a lot easier to change things we take ownership for, instead of wishing for a change in others.


Further reading
•    https://www.cnvc.org to learn more about Non-violent communication. How to describe objectively in ways that can’t be disputed.
•    RelationshipPower.com – a Podcast (Relationship Power at work ) that helps managers build Relationship Power while also exploring your own and other peoples potential.

Living Life with Intention: A Consultant’s thoughts on Attention

Living Life with Intention: A Consultant’s thoughts on Attention


We are nothing but a speck in this universe. In this fast-paced world, we are buried by competition. There are over thousands of fresh graduates from all corners of the globe and it makes our career path appear narrower. Thus, most of us end up applying for a job that is available on our plate. Unfortunately, not all of us has the liberty to stay unemployed for a while. Bills and adulthood can take its toll quickly.
As reality bites, we sometimes find ourselves questioning our very existence. But, we live in an era where (almost) everyone steers to social media. They tend to find validity and worth through likes and shares. From relationship goals, travel blogs, to sumptuous Instagram post of a fancy dinner, or a newly purchase shoes…we all love seeing the good stuff. However, the majority of them still feel hollow and does not have the fire to wake up each day. Not everyone of us has the fire to look at the mirror and get excited about the new work day. It always seems like just another day in the office.

How do we find our passion?
We find our passion by doing the things we love. Yes, it’s easier said than done. Sometimes, the things that make us whole are the things that are right infront of us. And it just takes some mindfulness of one self. How do we become aware of ourself? It’s one easy word: attention.
If we are living a few decades back, without the mobile phones and the wireless technology, can you imagine what would you be doing at this very moment? Do you think you would take the time to look around your surrounding? Smell the fresh air or enjoy the green trees?

When life gives you lemon…
Attention helps us become aware of what we have. It makes us think about our current resources, our assets, our liabilities, and our whole being. Being attentive with how we feel, how we react, and how we perceive on our lifes’ daily challenges. As a consultant, this will give you a different vantage point. It gives you a different perspective.
If you are struggling with your career right now, should you put extra attentiveness to it, would it make the difference? Would you be able to identify your weaknesses? Would you be able to know what part of the job you love and what are the type of tasks that you are struggling to?
These are the lemons of your career. Would you be able to make lemonades out of it?
As you grow attentive, you will be able to learn your pros and cons. It will help you evaluate your career decisions. Are you where you wanted to be if you ask your 5 years younger version of yourself?

Intention: Knowing my path
If you’re positive about your current standing, then, well done. You knew yourself well. But, are you creating traction? Where do you see yourself five years and beyond? Would you still sit in the same corner in the office? How do you intend to succeed on your job?
Meanwhile, if you feel like you are on a dead end or you felt like you slept on the wrond side of the bed, then that is still progress. You were able to pay attention to your capabilities. Now it’s time to put some meaning to what you are going to do and what you are currently doing. It’s time to draw your intention.
Who do I intend to be? What is the value that I can bring on the table? Will I become a catalyst of change? Your intention will become your passion. Do you intend to make a difference?

A few real-life examples
Your attention is like a muscle. Train it by reminding yourself not to switch tabs on the computer instead remained focused. Remind yourself to get your important stuff done the first thing of the day before everyone else’s agendas spills over, likewise when you just feel like crashing on the couch at home. Its WAY easier to get it done before then once you’re rooted to the seat. Just like physical training. Making plans the day before and get it done on the way home. Just like with physical training its important what you eat. Don’t leave garbage food at home. With attention is the same thing. Don’t have tabs running that you’ll check later. Don’t let email control your day. Control your interruptions as much as possible. Listen for what works for you. And for your manager if you have one

Attention and placebo. We often get what we look for. Like when I failed miserably learning to ride a motorbike when I was young my teacher used to say “Ric – look where you’re heading not at your hands”, interestingly that’s exactly what I learned from my martial art teacher as well -  being mindful of feints and the tricks our own focus play on ourselves. Attention is most often just a projection of our self as well. I remember for example that you like red Corvettes. If I would ask you how many you see you’d probably see them a lot more than someone who is not interested in them. You’d give a summary how common they are. Still, if you’re happy for their driver and inspired to take action or just giving up in envy will most likely affect your judgement how frequent they REALLY are.

What's your intention with where you place your attention?
Do you most often get what you intend to get? give what you intend to give?

Investing for the Greater Good
It is said that you are the average of the five people you invest your time to. This also works for the type of news your reading a day. Where do you spend most of your time? Do you binge watch to Netflix series all day? Or do you spend a part of your time tweaking your resume, highlighting your strengths? Did you ever have the time for learning new skills or improving the ones that you have? Do you have the right network of people?
Be honest with yourself, with what you have right now…would you be able to say that you are going to the right path?
As you become more mindful, do you find time doing the things that matter to you? Will your efforts go to waste? Will you stay complaining or do something about it

Why High Standards help you & Why Commitment increase attention

Why High Standards help you - Why Commitment increase attention

 

Quite often I get the question “why do you do this?” Some talk about “why the commitment on consistency” others “why for free when you have people who are thankful for the opportunity to  pay you for your knowledge and the results you help them bring

I’m happily sharing help to anyone, time permitting so most people know I enjoy helping, serving, giving a lifting hand. I think it’s in the context of “why are you forcing on yourself a higher standard when no-one else is asking for it”   - this question I often get at my consultant assignments or pro-bono mentoring as well.

 

I have many reasons or doing this. The first is:

“Be generously the person you needed when you where younger”

I have done a lot of mistakes in my life. I learn constantly and have been lucky to most of the time having wise and generous people around me, wanting to invest their energy and time into helping me learn faster, helping me archive more, helping me see the roads to having an impact for more people. It feels really good giving back after been lucky to receive so much. And there was times in my life when I had no role-models to learn from. And wish everyone to have some-place to learn how to improve, how to figure out who they want to become if they’re not where they want to be in life.

 

Another question I get quite often is:

“What’s up with all the questions to the listener? ... or out to the void”

What I say is not really important. What matters is what happens on the listener side.

Is my effort helping anyone take actions to bettering their life or not.

There I think making people questions where they stand is the greatest gift we can give. I’m sharing some thoughts hopefully helping they land in an answer and in taking actions on that answer, or taking action in deepening the question or searching for an answer if need be.

just listening, reading, watching - does not change munch

You can say in most way what I say is irrelevant if it doesn’t make you, my listening, take action for the better.

Some people say I would sound smarter if I state things as the truth, or most likely this or that but I don’t feel like that. I’m just sharing a worldview, mine, that’s not the truth. I do read a lot of studies, surveys, data and metrics but that’s not the whole holistic truth either. That’s just data that we can see, measure and touch but choose to act very different on. My wish is to make your life better, not make me sound better. Only you know your life.

 

“Why the consistency”?

When you know you have committed yourself to show up, you see more of life.

Something shifts in you when you commit to higher standards. When you commit to something beyond yourself. Commit to helping others even when it’s not the perfect time. It rarely is the perfect time to do something you don’t need to. When the only one saying you should is you its easy skip it.

I want to inspire you to do the same, on YOUR path, on following your passion. When you start to commit to something you’ll pay attention to so much more.

I remember when I starting a drawings course.. Suddenly I started to see shadows in everyone’s faces, in architecture, everywhere.

Same thing with photography, but instead I see the light, the multiple lights that wash over most things around us.

Same thing when I started an impro class (to extent my comfortzone, oh my how uncomfortable I was until I one day noticed I was actually having fun, you will to in your area eventually if you just keep it up)

Same thing when you’re learning any trade – you’ll start to see the underlying mechanics

For example when driving change - you see the underlying empathy everywhere. Without it nothing happens, not enough “care” from people, not enough urgency.

Your attention is soo important, don’t waste it. And selfishly for myself. This commitment to showing up to share these thoughts on a regular basis helps me grow, my mind have to get new input, have to stretch, analyse, do the emotional hard work in raising my standard. The standard I set of who I want to be (I want to be a person that shares and helps others on a regular basis)

I’m quite sure all these out there that are writing a book, a novel without the courage to share it with the world, just hiding their gem in the drawer when going to bed at night. They too have a brain that benefit from this heightened attention as well. To these wonderful people I say the world needs you, your gift to the world, how can we help you get the courage to share. Its not easy, it wasn’t for me but eventually it became a lot easier. I still second guess and doubt myself. You will to, but it does get easier with consistency.

 

“Why all the talk about these soft-skills? Feelings, imagination, awareness, driving lasting change”

For me It’s important to share my struggles, weakness, fears and vulnerabilities so others can follow their own “imagination of what may be”

When I started I was very bad at this. Most people told me “why? You've dont got this, you already excel at other stuff, why do you persist with this that you’re apparently lousy at”

I got feedback like “Why? There’s already people out there that talks about similar things”

 ”sound louder/more volume”. “sound happier/more cheerful (I’m extremely positive in nature so although said with care they couldn’t understand why I sounded like a strangled cat on the recordings when I’m so happy go along in the real life world)

So I didn’t get that much cheers when starting this. It was mostly resistance. This from people I knew and trusted. And in for a long time it as crickets from the world. Nothing. A rising download number but not the huge numbers the “top” people talked about, nothing like that by far. Some part of me was still scared about the numbers being awfully high since I was so bad at it still, I silently thanked for it. I know now that most likely didn’t help.

Now I hear “thank you” and stories of change taking place because something I shared.

You can to. You can have a bigger impact than you think. But you MUST start. And you must be patient... and sadly, most likely you’ll have to stand alone for a while because most people will not understand. But that’s EXACLY why you need to do it. So other people out there that understand what only you understand in the area you are, with the people you meet understand. Because out there, in the void, on this globe are other people just like you.. ..who know things you know, and just like you, are fighting the resistance trying to too do better. Be their guiding star. Be there for them and you’ll realize this journey will also make you become more of you. Become more of the person your younger self needed.

To this for your own sake, but for sure, it will also help you be a person others gladly connect to

if this text helps you, try listening to my podcast episode about the same thing

Full Contact play with your Anti-thesis

Full Contact play with your Anti-thesis

Get the habit of embracing an anti-thesis to your belief every now and then to deepen your learning on your topic, or that it's time to leave while “on top.”

Perhaps get together with dinner with some mastermind friends on a yearly basis and ask everyone to bring a thesis on the other side of the force. Ask them to listen to you while you’re arguing out loud why you are wrong to invest your time where you do, why your predictions are likely to fail. Get challenged in a caring way and invite the dance of tension around the work you create. Then Listen to your friends share their wisdom. Why do we embrace (IN THEORY) the anti-thesis like this? Because what you’re unaware of controls you. Every 20 years there is leaps beyond what anyone saw coming leaving people in the dust that thought the change here was impossible.


Arguing “against” our own beliefs is important. The learning FROM it is even more so.
Please do not confuse this with second-guessing yourself or not daring to leap because you’re afraid or have to re-run an anti-thesis. This is when you’re caught by something the opposite. When you “KNOW” for ”a fact” you’re so right.


it's also Very important to do this with people that know how to let go. You don’t want to over-invest time into this activity. You want to do this will person who can let go knowing the difference of challenge an idea with an encouraging mindset of learning, not with an exact science. The goal of this exercise is to become aware so we can move on and invest more effort into doing the work that makes a difference. Not dig down into the “what if” or details burying our time, stealing our focus from doing the work. Resistance hides in many forms. Knowing when to let go is a tricky task at times.


Doing this yourself is no near as powerful as doing it with someone who can help you leap higher, faster and land better. But beware. Most people will confuse their own unlived lives with your accomplishments. They will find faults instead of trying to be a helpful and giving both energy, flaws, and solutions. Some people will be scared of the prospect of you daring to leap where they didn’t and unconsciously hope you won’t succeed. Meaning well but not being able to see past their own illusions. Ensure you ask help from people who in one form or another have to reach their own definition of success. People who have a habit of defining their own destiny, accomplishing their own goal is way less threatened by you completing yours.
 
Every minute there is a chance to do something smart that no-one ever thinks of, that forces gather against resisting. If they didn’t everyone would be doing it. Yes – look under the bed if there are monsters there. Don’t fall into the habit of doing it often lest it steals precious time you could have invested in making a difference, but also don’t pretend there isn’t any monster there just because it wasn’t there when you looked ten years ago


What you are unaware of controls your options. Every time. Just because this has served you well once, or appear to serve you still does not have to mean it’s so. Companies today are not prosperous for as long as they were. According to studies, the number of years companies have been on the Forbes Fortune 500 list has rapidly declined the last decade.


Most of those that vanished were not eaten by their competitor or outrun by their competitor. They turned obsolete by something that wasn’t even on their map, couldn’t have been imagined by their radar. What you are unaware of controls your options. Reach out, become aware of the ever-present changes around you. Harness these changes, use the energy and tension for the best. Helping yourself and those around you see what is about to happen so you don’t have to jump ship, shift lane, rebuild or refocus at the same time as everyone else.


Examples I’ve been wrong is when I was a young 20 something and my friends started buying their flats. For Stockholm-prices I thought they’re insane and that will never last. That has cost me many years salaries. Not daring to start my own company for many years due to fear that has cost me even more in both money, freedom and personal growth. Not daring to invest in the internet infrastructure when I got my email address back 1996 – fighting a lot of my co-workers for the need for it professionally when most didn’t see it... Had I dared to put my cheek out more? A lot of things would have been different today. But I fear and “stay in line” feelings kept me in check.


I’m quite sure 20 years from now I’ll look back wondering over a few of my decisions as to why I didn’t understand I was living through my 10th gold-rush age. Why I didn’t see it happening. Why I didn’t invest in this or that. I’m not talking about monetary investment, I’m talking about emotional investment. About daring to leap, daring to give, daring to help something that might not work, something that might fail and help despite that. Help just in case it would make a difference for someone else. It's never too late to step up, take responsibility and make a difference. There is always new trains to catch. Likewise, there will never be a platform to secure it can’t tumble down hard. Become aware. Dare to embrace Full Contact play with your anti-thesis every now and then- so you’re not standing on something that might very well be an illusion.

Urgent question for you - Whats your position?

shutterstock_67533349_golden_ball_individual.jpg

Urgent question for you- What’s your position?

With a position in this context, this includes the company you are working with-- what value do you want to bring others? Or said in another way: Who do you want to miss YOU and your art/guidance/results if you didn’t keep bringing it to them?

That question has always been important. Now is urgent. The exponential growth we see in most areas, professions, and trades is wonderful. But will soon leave most of us in a state of feeling like we’ve got a 30-year-old kitchen when trying to sell our house. For example, gamification has solved a lot of scientifically challenging topics that wasn’t solved in 15 years or more. These very same problems are now solved within hours.  That kind of difference will just become bigger and bigger.

You might think this is just for us nerdy computer geeks. Sure a computer can analyse way better than me. But try to ask a cab driver about what they feel right now with Uber. Or an artist about Spotify. Or Lawyers about insanely effective on-demand analytics.. and soon driver-less cars. No profession will be untouched. Everything will become more effective. Become aware and aware of how and where, so you can harness this and be ahead of the wave of change so you’ll not have to jump ship on the same wave as everyone else.

And help your friends, family, co-workers become aware too. Listen to it. Make up your own mind.

One way to think about when embracing this urgent need for change is getting better clients. This change has been long in the making. Remember travel-agents with great stores 20 years ago? Banks physical locations. We're living in the shared instant access area of Exponential Growth right now and we cheered at not having to cue at banks, at having algorithms help us instead-find the best travel offer etc. And I'm still VERY optimistic about the future and its NEVER been as easy to help others as it is today, its easier than ever to do the important work, to make a difference, to connect today. But please start. Don't wait. its been long in the making but now it's urgent. You see computers, analytics and soon robots don't sleep. They keep chewing on becoming better and better second after second. Slowly becoming more and more effective and we're now at a point in the exponential graph where it's getting faster and faster quick. Act now and ride that wave.

Get better clients

If you want to avoid becoming a commodity you’ll need to actively work to choose your clients. That’s right that means MORE effort in the beginning. Choosing your clients will make you more successful than just helping those that ask/those you ask.

Tim Ferris says 80/20 – 20% of your client will cost you more than the 80% combined. And I’d say it's not just about money costs. It's also about your energy, your reputation and everything else.

Some people have a huge need of for example feeling heard. They will most likely never think in their mind that you’re paying them enough attention. And the placebo effect is huge. They’ll see proof of that everywhere. The alternative cost of that is huge versus a client that is thankful for the attention you give them and the result it wields. Second guessing is draining. Investing and focusing on creating results is re-energizing. People who have the power themselves to act on your results will make themselves more successful thus making your results look more important.

YOU NEED TO CREATE THE RESULTS OR TRUST FIRST

You can't expect the right client to wait for you without nothing. You need to make a choice easy for them. Either by building trust they when you’ll create their future you’ll deliver on it, OR by having results proving you’ve already done what they’re asking you to do successfully for others. Of course having both trust and results are better. But it's hard to have trust before we have any sort of relationships but surely without any trust, you’ll now be asked to help. It's your job to be 100% true, told in a for them relevant, persuasive manner.

Own your own position

Own your own position. Become recognizable you for some results and some people you do that for. Own that niche. In the internet age there is power in being small, niched down. If you’re well-known for a very specific area, with having helped a lot of clients reach their success in that very specific area you’re not in comparison with the other candidates for that position that they’re looking to fill. Owning your position does not work if you try to squeeze and turn your resume towards the current area you’re seeking an assignment for. Owning means I was here before you where you were looking and I will be here once we complete making you successful in yours. Daring to choose your area requires awareness and results that you’re proud of. Make it very niche down. Experiment with descripting your results until your old clients cheer at you for your accuracy in describing what you did for them.

 

 

 

You Become the Company You Keep

You become the company you keep.

Another way of saying it is "you are the average of the X people you spend the most time with."

I believe WHO you invest most of your time with is the most important decision of your life.

In the right company, most things seem easy. Often you can see the trail of a group of people rendezvousing every here and there overlapping companies and organisations and wonderful things happen. You don’t have to be one of those to have magic happening to you.

Create your own magic. Create your own group of people doing the work that matters. You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself. So if you find you’re not getting the support you wish, nor having those around you value and act on the support you give, then it is up to you to find new people to help and to encourage. Afterwards, you’ll find that you’re on the path to building that group of masterminds that align to what you value. Towards what you want to help create in this world.

I attended a coaching course this week (Lego Serious Play, detailed info here) where one of the things we talked about is how lasting the hurt of criticism can be, and how much power there is in encouragement: in helping to see the viewpoint of our teammate. Criticism really makes it harder for your company to do better now and next time. Be mindful and wary of that. Try to seek and include more people around you that boost you, that empower you to do better with way more encouragement. When they feel the need to criticize they should know where the source of those feelings come from. If it’s internal coming from themselves, they can always opt to re-voice their thoughts of criticism in another way to encourage a better version. Note that criticism serves an important purpose but it should be used with respect since it is most often hurtful, thus use it with care.

Be kind to people because you never know what people struggle with that isn’t shown on the outside. You never know what the previous bag of hurt someone else is carrying and your criticism might accidentally hit without them saying. Being kind is also a great get together with other people who are kind and who wants to help.

Why do I believe this is the most important decision in your life? Because if you hang around with people who will encourage you to archive great things and who believe in you the reason is that, in essence, they believe in themselves and their own power to create great things. You will go further in life.

The mirror neurons in your brain will learn from their successes. Learn from their manners, from their behaviors: small things on how they talk and settle things on the phone. How they encourage themselves and others to clarity, courage and knowing when to dare to take a leap despite trembling legs. When to listen to those tired legs and award themselves some rest and rejuvenation. Because they’ve been there. Because they too know how to fumble and be new at something. Because they too trust that with grit and willpower which you will learn to master too even if you’re in the dip right now.

Because study after study shows that parents who actively look for things to praise their kids with will see more of those. In return, it is helping their kids grow. It’s the exactly the same thing with managers, even if you might have to set the boundaries and challenge level higher.

If you surround yourself with people who enjoy looking for things you’re doing well, who actively enjoy supporting those tasks that challenge you, will both lean to you for peer insight and as well as time to time have gone a step before you. Or listening to your wisdom on parts of your life where you are ahead of them… you will go further. You will have a greater impact.

Another incentive for you to make this happen is that MRI scan studies show that our brains actually align when talking to people we like. And if you’re impressed by their friendship and their results – isn’t that a great thing for you?

Isn’t it wonderful to invest time with people who challenge you and help your mind soar high above, yet keeping your feet grounded and your hands on the plow of the hard work that’s required of making it happen? These are people you’re just happy and thankful to spend time with. Suddenly, you’ve both achieved something that makes all of you happy for each other’s sake?

These things might seem simple and obviously easy when looking at groups of awesome from afar. Yet here we stand, confused and sometimes not knowing how to archive it.

You can’t change your past, your childhood, and other people but you CAN choose to re-arrange how you invest your time. (Unless you’re imprisoned. I’ve read somewhere, that the option to choose who spend your time with is the major loss when imprisoned. The mind and most other of our arts are still free to soar).

Start by becoming aware of where you invest most of your time. Start by honestly asking yourself: am I doing work for things that matter to me? Am I getting the impact I dreamt of as a kid?

Then, once you know that, ask yourself who you’re doing what with the most. Look towards people doing the work that matters to you and ask yourself, how can I help them? Start with something small and re-apply until you notice something stick. If you’ve never done it before, you’re likely to fail a couple of times but that doesn’t matter. You’re doing this primarily to be kind, to help and not to receive.. but if you feel you’re not getting what you intended out of it just disengage and retry with someone else.

Aim for small things like sharing a lunch. It could be anything. Don’t throw half your week at this. Ensure you still deliver all you’ve promised and squeeze something small in. And once you’ve got that going well, squeeze in some more until you’ve got a plate full of the work that matters to yourself and let go of things that aren't part of that plate.

Surround yourself with people who act. It's easy to talk about how things should be, and gossip might feel good for a while but both things actually make things worse in the long run so it's better to just step away. Otherwise, you’ll never be “free” to surround yourself with people who act. Remember that predicting the right thing might be impressive, but its actually preparing and creating something to harvest is what makes a difference. Be one of those that act and take initiative and people who matter will follow you… eventually. This is NOT a quick-fix to get new friends. This is to ensure you’re surrounded with people who you love and who love you back for the long haul. This is the way of building longlasting relationships.

This will NOT happen by itself. This will happen when you start and keep at it for a while, learning as you go. NOT taking action is the same as digging yourself harder at where you are. The earlier you show yourself that you can take a small step, the easier it is. Your future self will thank you. As will the world, since you’ll be making the world a better place

If you prefer seeing it from the business side:

Ever thought about why the managers who deliver great results and retain their people, focus so much more on the important order in which “who does what by when”. These are people that really changes what is possible by when in a big way. Most of the time you can’t replace 'who' without also affecting the result. If you can replace the 'who' without also affecting the result, you're not asking the individual to stretch; to really do the important work that matters big time. You're not really getting the most out of the individual, nor is the individual getting the most out of this work.

Here are some quotes from some smart people to get you inspired to take action on this:
Perhaps their wise words will make you see who you want to approach?.. or let go?

These are just some quotes that make my day and makes me know I'm with "my" people. What quotes will help you identify yours? What behaviors should you be on the lookout for?
What behavior should you show yourself to attract them?


Don't underestimate the power of your "just one" person around who vent their frustration without taking any actions themselves/complains/etc over time. Don't underestimate the power of not choosing your own path.


Give yourself the investment of really great relationships & friends, if only for a few minutes more per week for starters.